Comedy Writing (selected)
The New Yorker (Daily Shouts, Shouts & Murmurs)
• Department Questionnaire: How Has Affirmative Action Hurt You?
• Trump's Advice for Girl Scouts
• Rejected Slogans for the Democratic Party's New Agenda
• Donald Trump, Jr., the F.A.Q. Section
• Newly Discovered Very Illegal Thing Will Finally Bring Down Trump (Or Be Another Cute Tile in the Mosaic of Democracy's Demise, I Guess)
• Upcoming Utopian Novels (Now That We Live in a Dystopia)
• Steve Bannon's Cover Letter
• Sherlock Holmes and the Massacre at Bowling Green
• Times I Have Actually Used Math Since High School
• Why I'm Not Voting
McSweeney's Internet Tendency
• Anthony Scaramucci Called Me, His GrubHub Delivery Guy, to Unload About White House Leakers, Reince Priebus, and Steve Bannon - And I'm Still On the Phone With Him
• We Refuse to Perform at Trump's Inauguration! Also, Why Haven't We Been Invited to Perform at Trump's Inauguration?
• The Ultimate Pub Quiz Team
• Obituaries for Teenage Girls if They Actually Died When They Say They're Dying
• Easy Ways for Asian Americans to Fit In
• Man Costumes to Make You Seem Like One of the Guys
• We Gave Men a Map of America and Only 7% Could Locate the Clitoris
• 8 Child Actresses Who Grew Up to Be Your Stepmother
• A Woman's Guide to Running for Political Office
• Ladies: 8 Signs You Found the Perfect Man
• 8 Reasons to Feel Bad for White People
• Welcome to the 2017 School of Journalism
• Ways to Accept a Compliment as a Normal, Well-Adjusted Human
• It's Me, Lindsay Lohan's Twin from The Parent Trap That No One Fucking Knows About
• Guns Are Our Shared Responsibility. So Is Taking Out the Trash, Mich--Michelle?
• Jamie, Please Hang Out With Me
• Mad Libs
Satire V (selected entries)
• Contributing Writer for Book: How to Get Into Harvard
• Hasty Pudding Grad Board Considers Meeting with Fathers of Harvard Women
• Harvard Football Plays, Um, Brown? Did We Play Brown?
• Boston Marathon: Too Soon?
• Teenager Cures Cancer Using Time Saved By Saying "Totes" Instead of "Totally"